 Breaking up with him, without breaking HIM. | You don't want to hurt him, but stringing him along would be even crueler. So, you have to break up with him. But, how do you end the relationship? |
In this situation, the kindest thing you can do is be respectful. Put yourself in his shoes. If things were the other way around and he was the one ending your relationship, how would you want him to tell you it's over?
If it were me, I wouldn't want it to happen in a busy restaurant because that would equal me red-faced and crying while people at nearby tables pretend not to notice what's going on. I'd be mortified. So, that brings us to suggestion number one:
If it were me, I wouldn't want it to happen in a busy restaurant because that would equal me red-faced and crying while people at nearby tables pretend not to notice what's going on. I'd be mortified. So, that brings us to suggestion number one:
Go somewhere peaceful & relatively quiet... | ...like a park or your backyard. This way you can talk things out in a quiet setting where he won't have to feel like he's being put on display. |
Get to the point straightaway... | ...don't beat around the bush by talking about the weather or whatever. If you do this, you might lose your nerve. Be kind and direct by beginning the conversation with something like, "I care about you so much, but I think we should break up." Using the actual words "break up" is a good idea because there's no confusion about what's happening. |
Don't Blame Him... | ...make sure he leaves the conversation knowing he's done nothing wrong (if he truly hasn't), but that you simply think the two of you aren't a good fit, romantically-speaking. Nice guys tend to blame |
themselves for things going wrong and while it's not like you can totally prevent him from feeling this way, you can reassure him that the break up isn't his fault. A great way to reiterate that he's done nothing wrong is to avoid using sentences that point the finger at him. This happens when we say things like, "When you said ..." or "Every time you..." Use the word "YOU" as little as possible and, instead, point the finger at yourself. So, instead of saying, "When you said you hated Lord of the Rings, I knew we wouldn't work out," say, "When I think about our taste in movies and whatever, I realize that we're very different and I'd probably do better with someone who's preferences are more similar to mine."
This is not going to be fun, but you're doing the right thing by being honest with yourself and with someone you care about. Hopefully, the three tips above will soften the blow. And if you have any more tips on how to make a break up as gentle as possible, go ahead and leave them below!
